Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Managing the Painful Side Effects of Antidepressants

Managing the Painful Side Effects of Antidepressants
By John M. Grohol, Psy.D.

For better or worse, one of the primary treatments of clinical depression — antidepressants — come with a host of negative side effects. For some people, these side effects will be temporary and will go away on their own (or at least be reduced in intensity as your body acclimates to the medication). For others, the side effects may not go away and, in fact, may become intolerable.

Side effects are a normal part of taking virtually any prescription medication. Although the drugs are intended to treat the specific condition — in this case, depression — they also cause unwanted physical symptoms that are usually an annoyance.

You shouldn’t feel abnormal, awkward or self-conscious if you have any of these side effects. You should, however, talk to your doctor about them — especially if they make you feel worse or the side effects themselves are unbearable:
Decreased sex drive or no sex drive at all
Dry mouth — your mouth feels very dry and cannot produce the same amount of saliva as usual
Mild to moderate nausea
Insomnia — inability to get to sleep, or difficulty staying asleep
Increased anxiousness or restlessness
Daytime sleepiness or drowsiness
Weight gain
Constipation or diarrhea
Headaches
Increased sweating
Dizziness

Whatever you do, do not try and manage your medication — the dose, frequency or amount you take — on your own. You need to talk to your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Do not suddenly quit taking your medication, because it could cause intense withdrawal symptoms or even a return of your depression.

Keep in mind that some side effects can also be managed in conjunction with your doctor. There are remedies for dry mouth, for instance, and additional medications for other things (such as sexual dysfunction, a common side effect of many antidepressant medications).
Helping to Manage the Common Side Effects of Antidepressants

1. Decreased sex drive or no sex drive at all

Ask your doctor whether another medication is available that doesn’t have such strong sexual side effects, or if a lower dose may help with the problem. Talk to your doctor about other options, such as taking a medication for erectile dysfunction.

2. Dry mouth

Eat more water-laden snacks, like celery sticks, and consider chewing sugarless gum, or suck often on sugarless candy. The sugarless part is important, because otherwise the sugar of constant gum chewing or candy sucking can harm your teeth and cause future cavities. You can also consider increasing your daily water intake by drinking at least 8 to 10 glasses of water a day and cutting back on some of the caffeine-laden drinks, such as coffee, tea and alcohol. As a last resort, you can also try a specially formulated rinse for your mouth that may help, such as Biotene or Orazyme.

For the bad breath that often accompanies dry mouth, consider munching on these herbs: parsley, aniseed, fennel, rosemary and cayenne pepper (individually, not all together!). See this article for more details.

7 Tips for Deciding How Best to Spend Your Time, Energy and Money

7 Tips for Deciding How Best to Spend Your Time, Energy and Money
By Gretchen Rubin

We all have to make decisions about how to spend our time, energy, and money. Because of my happiness project, I now explicitly ask myself, “Will this decision make me happier?”

I’m determined to get the most happiness bang for the buck.

Here are some questions I consider:

1. Is this decision likely to strengthen my relationships with other people?

Strong relationships with other people are a key — the key — to happiness, so decisions that help me build or strengthen ties are likely to boost my happiness. Yes, it’s a hassle and an expense to go to my college reunion, but it’s likely to have a big happiness pay-off.


2. Will this decision provide me with novelty and challenge?

Novelty and challenge make me happier—but they also make me feel insecure, intimidated, frustrated, and stupid. To get past that hurdle, I remind myself that in the end, I usually get a big shot of happiness. When I considered adding video to my blog, I reminded myself that the process of mastering the process would likely make me happier. And it has.

3. What is the opportunity cost of this decision? (“Opportunity cost” describes that fact that doing one thing means foregoing alternatives.)

Energy, time, and money are limited. Even if a decision would bring happiness, if it means that I have to give up the opportunity to do many other happiness-boosting activities, it may not be worth it. I could dedicate many hours to learning about classical music, and in the end, I might enjoy classical music more, but that activity would crowd out too many other things that I want to do more.

4. Does this decision help me obey my personal commandment to Be Gretchen?

I want to shape my life to reflect my temperament, interests, and values. I ask myself: Am I making this decision to “Be Gretchen,” or because I want to impress other people, pretend that I’m different from the person I actually am, or deny a truth about myself?

5. When I consider a particular course of action, do I feel energized or drained?

6. How happy are the people who have made that particular decision?

In Daniel Gilbert’s book Stumbling on Happiness, he argues that the most effective way to judge whether a particular course of action will make you happy in the future is to ask people who are following that course of action right now if they’re happy, and assume that you’ll feel the same way. Going on a family trip to Disneyworld. Getting a hamster. Learning to use Instagram. Working as a paralegal. Volunteering. In evaluating the likely consequences of a decision, other people’s experiences of happiness — or lack thereof — can be very instructive for me.

7. I remind myself to “Choose the bigger life.”

People make different decisions about what the “bigger life” would be, but when I ask myself that question, it always helps me see the right answer, for myself.

This list might help answer questions such as:
Should I join Facebook?
Should I buy a tent?
Should I throw a Labor Day party?
Should I buy a new kitchen table?
Should I sign up for Spanish lessons?

There’s no right answer or wrong answer — only the right answer for me.

How about you?
Have you developed questions for yourself, or other strategies, to help make wise decisions?

I came across Adam Bryant’s New York Times interview of Kip Tindell, the chief executive of the Container Store. Very thought-provoking — and I’d love to talk a look at his “Philosphy Epistle” file.

Recovering from Mental Illness? Be Your Own Best Friend

By Marie Hartwell-Walker, Ed.D.

The bad/sad news: According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness, one in four adults — approximately 57.7 million Americans — experience a mental health disorder in a given year. One in 17 lives with a serious mental illness.

The good news: Between 70 and 90 percent of the individuals who are treated for their illness have a reduction in symptoms and improved quality of life.

The key factor that determines who recovers and who doesn’t most often is the willingness and ability of the person to engage in his or her own healing. If you are struggling with depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, or any of the other diagnoses for mental illness, your involvement and attitude make a difference.

“Fine,” you say. “But what exactly does that mean?”

One way to think about it is to be your own very best friend. I’m not talking about the kind of friend who eggs you on to self-destructive behavior. I’m not talking about someone who only tells you what you want to hear or pretends she doesn’t see you sabotaging your own healing. I’m talking about a friend who cares deeply about you, wants only the best for you, and who loves you enough to find a way to encourage you even when you are so discouraged you push her away.

You don’t have such a friend? Then make one up for now. Conjure up a perfect buddy and give it a name. For the sake of this story, I’m making it female but gender doesn’t matter. What’s important is that you look deep inside to find your most insightful, supportive, and nurturing traits and create an avatar who will help you heal.

“Come on,” you say. “If I could do that, I wouldn’t be ill.” True. But it’s also true that you probably wouldn’t be so ill if you could find a way to do it. These things do go around and around. I’m only suggesting that if you’ve had the energy to find this article and to read it this far, you might have enough will and energy to give at least some of the following ideas some attention — at least some of the time. Not doing it isn’t going to get you anywhere, so you might as well try.
Becoming Your Own Best Friend

Words from your avatar best friend:

1. “Get real.” If you won’t settle for anything less than a “cure” for a persistent and chronic mental illness, you may be setting yourself up for disappointment. A good friend would help you accept a realistic idea of what “recovery” means. She might remind you that physical illnesses like hypertension, arthritis, and diabetes can’t be totally cured but people can live happily and productively once symptoms are brought under control. Similarly, even serious mental illnesses like schizophrenia can become part of the fabric of one’s daily life without overwhelming it. Just as there is currently no “cure” for hypertension, there is no “cure” for psychosis. But staying in treatment and being engaged in a healthy lifestyle can push both into the background.

2. “Take your medicine” – on time and in the correct dose. A true friend wouldn’t let you convince yourself that it’s okay to abruptly stop a medication because you are feeling better. You may be feeling better because you are taking the medication. A friend would remind you to tell your doctor if you are experiencing side effects, if you miss a dose, or if you think your medication isn’t working. Your doctor can only help you if you follow directions and provide good information about results. Most medications require a gradual step-down if you are to discontinue them safely, so talk to your doctor if you want to stop.

3. “See a therapist.” A friend would not support an idea that a pill alone will make the pain go away. Studies have found that a combination of medication and talk therapy is the most effective method for getting and staying better. A therapist can help you learn and practice new coping skills. Sessions can be devoted to helping you identify issues, people, and places that are challenging for you so that you can develop strategies for dealing with them. Perhaps most important, your therapist can encourage and support the efforts of your internal friend until you’ve developed a natural support system to take over.

4. “Get enough sleep.” A true friend would call it a night at 9:00 so you can be in bed by 10:00 or 11:00. Regardless of how much fun the two of you are having, your friend would understand that you need a minimum of 6 to 8 hours a night every night. She’d know bodies require rest to heal. If you have trouble falling asleep or staying asleep, she’d remind you to make sure you are doing the sensible things you need to do to wind down from the day. She’d tell you to shut down anything that is overstimulating at least an hour before bedtime. She’d get offline and tell you to do the same. She’d remind you to turn off the TV and not to answer your phone or make any calls unless there is a bona fide emergency. If you need further coaching, she’d tell you to take a warm bath if that is soothing, to get into pajamas and head for bed; to play some soft music and lower the lights. You want to establish a routine that says to your system, “The day is over. We’re going to sleep now.”

5. “Treat your body well.” Treats are only treats if they’re rare. A true friend wouldn’t bring you chocolate – except when it is extremely special and then in only small amounts. Instead, she’d insist that you get into the habit of eating three healthy meals a day plus 2 – 3 healthy snacks. Your body needs fuel to heal. Exercise? Of course. Your buddy would get you moving. Taking a walk together or hitting the gym for at least 30 minutes a day would help you both feel great. She’d encourage you to limit caffeine, alcohol, sugar and nicotine and to stay away from illegal drugs. Your body and mind have enough to do without struggling against effects of stimulants and depressants that you do have control over. Gently and consistently, your friend would stress that these are the habits of healthy living. To be healthy, you need to act that way – especially when you don’t feel like it. Doing the basics shouldn’t be a decision every day.

6. “Learn relaxation techniques.” A good friend would drag you to a workshop to learn meditation, the relaxation response, yoga or mindfulness. She might join you in prayer for health and guidance. Your friend would know that when you find your mind spinning, you need to have a natural and effective way to slow yourself down.

7. “Make more friends – or at least acquaintances.” People who are isolated have a much harder time managing their illness. Your friend would encourage you to join a church or club or support group – anything that meets weekly so that you have regular contact with people who share some of your interests or concerns. You need more than one friend, even if that friend is the best possible good buddy you can imagine. You need to find a group of people who look out for one another.

8. “Tell me about it.” A supportive friend would want to know what she might see if you start to lose control. Often it happens so gradually, it’s hard to recognize that the illness is taking over until it has already become serious. Remind your internal friend that you both do know your signals. Agree that when you first start to feel uneasy, you will call your therapist – even if you don’t think it’s that serious.

The imagination is a wonderful thing. Your partner in healing is only as far away as your mind. When you are discouraged or lonely or tempted just to pull the covers over your head and avoid dealing, your avatar self can be a very helpful and, yes, loving support. Your inner best friend forever is that part of you that is healthy and whole. The more you get in touch with her and listen to her, the stronger both of you will become.

Physical Punishment May Impair Child’s Cognitive Functions

By Rick Nauert PhD Senior News Editor
Reviewed by John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on July 27, 2011

Emerging research suggests corporal punishment in schools may harm a child’s cognitive ability.

In a study of two private West African schools, children in a school that uses corporal punishment performed significantly worse in tasks involving executive functioning — psychological processes such as planning, abstract thinking, and delaying gratification — than those in a school relying on milder disciplinary measures such as time-outs.

Researchers believe this suggests a harshly punitive environment may have long-term detrimental effects on children’s verbal intelligence and their executive-functioning ability.

As a result, children exposed to a harshly punitive environment may be at risk for behavioral problems related to deficits in executive functioning, the study indicates.

Researchers including Prof. Victoria Talwar of McGill University, Prof. Stephanie M. Carlson of the University of Minnesota, and Prof. Kang Lee of the University of Toronto, followed 63 children in kindergarten or first grade at two West African private schools.

Demographically the students were similar as their families lived in the same urban neighborhood and parents were employed as civil servants, professionals and merchants.

In one school, discipline in the form of beating with a stick, slapping of the head, and pinching was administered publicly and routinely for offenses ranging from forgetting a pencil to being disruptive in class.

In the other school, children were disciplined for similar offenses with the use of time-outs and verbal reprimands.

While overall performance on the executive-functioning tasks was similar in the younger children from both schools, the Grade 1 children in the non-punitive school scored significantly higher than those in the punitive school.

These findings compare with prior research that suggests punitive discipline may make children immediately compliant – but may reduce the likelihood that they will internalize rules and standards. That, in turn, may result in lower self-control as children get older.

“This study demonstrates that corporal punishment does not teach children how to behave or improve their learning,” said researcher Victoria Talwar, Ph.D., of McGill University.

“In the short term, it may not have any negative effects; but if relied upon over time it does not support children’s problem-solving skills, or their abilities to inhibit inappropriate behaviour or to learn.”

Experts have debated the benefits or detriments of corporal punishment for centuries. However, few studies have examined the effects on executive functioning.

This study used a quasi-experimental design to obtain information from a naturally occurring situation in which children were exposed to two different disciplinary environments. The parents of children in both schools endorsed physical punishment equally, suggesting that the school environment can account for the differences found.

However, despite the knowledge gained, researchers say there are many questions that remain unanswered.

“We are now examining whether being in a punitive environment day in and day out will have other negative impacts on children such as lying or other covert antisocial behaviors. Also, we are pursuing the long-term consequences of experiencing corporal punishment. For example, what would children’s cognitive and social development be 5 or 10 years down the road?,” said study author Kang Lee, Ph.D.

The findings are relevant to current issues in education.

“In the U.S., 19 states still allow corporal punishment in schools, although more of them are now asking for parent permission to use it. With this new evidence that the practice might actually undermine children’s cognitive skills needed for self-control and learning, parents and policymakers can be better informed,” said study author Stephanie M. Carlson, Ph.D.

The study is published in the journal Social Development.

Source: University of Toronto

Friday, July 22, 2011

Tips for Deciding How Best to Spend Your Time, Energy and Money

We all have to make decisions about how to spend our time, energy, and money. Because of my happiness project, I now explicitly ask myself, “Will this decision make me happier?”

I’m determined to get the most happiness bang for the buck.

Here are some questions I consider:

1. Is this decision likely to strengthen my relationships with other people?

Strong relationships with other people are a key — the key — to happiness, so decisions that help me build or strengthen ties are likely to boost my happiness. Yes, it’s a hassle and an expense to go to my college reunion, but it’s likely to have a big happiness pay-off.


2. Will this decision provide me with novelty and challenge?

Novelty and challenge make me happier—but they also make me feel insecure, intimidated, frustrated, and stupid. To get past that hurdle, I remind myself that in the end, I usually get a big shot of happiness. When I considered adding video to my blog, I reminded myself that the process of mastering the process would likely make me happier. And it has.

3. What is the opportunity cost of this decision? (“Opportunity cost” describes that fact that doing one thing means foregoing alternatives.)

Energy, time, and money are limited. Even if a decision would bring happiness, if it means that I have to give up the opportunity to do many other happiness-boosting activities, it may not be worth it. I could dedicate many hours to learning about classical music, and in the end, I might enjoy classical music more, but that activity would crowd out too many other things that I want to do more.

4. Does this decision help me obey my personal commandment to Be Gretchen?

I want to shape my life to reflect my temperament, interests, and values. I ask myself: Am I making this decision to “Be Gretchen,” or because I want to impress other people, pretend that I’m different from the person I actually am, or deny a truth about myself?

5. When I consider a particular course of action, do I feel energized or drained?

6. How happy are the people who have made that particular decision?

In Daniel Gilbert’s book Stumbling on Happiness, he argues that the most effective way to judge whether a particular course of action will make you happy in the future is to ask people who are following that course of action right now if they’re happy, and assume that you’ll feel the same way. Going on a family trip to Disneyworld. Getting a hamster. Learning to use Instagram. Working as a paralegal. Volunteering. In evaluating the likely consequences of a decision, other people’s experiences of happiness — or lack thereof — can be very instructive for me.

7. I remind myself to “Choose the bigger life.”

People make different decisions about what the “bigger life” would be, but when I ask myself that question, it always helps me see the right answer, for myself.

This list might help answer questions such as:
Should I join Facebook?
Should I buy a tent?
Should I throw a Labor Day party?
Should I buy a new kitchen table?
Should I sign up for Spanish lessons?

There’s no right answer or wrong answer — only the right answer for me.

How about you?
Have you developed questions for yourself, or other strategies, to help make wise decisions?

I came across Adam Bryant’s New York Times interview of Kip Tindell, the chief executive of the Container Store. Very thought-provoking — and I’d love to talk a look at his “Philosphy Epistle” file.

Thursday, July 21, 2011

1st Core Sector Communique Awards for Excellence - Park Hotel




Staying Afloat amidst the Spin

Staying Afloat amidst the Spin

by Contrarian Strategies & Point of View on Sunday, July 17, 2011 at 12:18a

Try not to take everything personally, things that people say and do don’t always have anything to do with you.





Every time you interact with others, you have the choice to listen to, acknowledge, and let go of their words, or you can take what they are saying personally. Taking things personally is often the result of perceiving a person’s actions or words as an affront or slight. In order to take something personally, you must read negative intent in an individual’s words or actions. But what people do and say has no bearing upon you and is usually based on their own experiences, emotions, and perceptions. If you attempt to take what they do or say personally, you may end up feeling hurt without reason.



If you are tempted to take a comment or action personally, creating some distance between yourself and the other person can help you. Try to determine what is at the root of your feelings. Ask yourself if the other person’s words or actions are just reinforcing some insecurity within you or if you can really be sure that an offense was intended. You may even want to ask them what they meant. Finally, put yourself in the other person’s shoes. Instead of taking their words as the truth, or as a personal affront, remember that whatever was said or done is based on their opinion and is more reflective of what is going on inside of them, rather than having anything to do with you. You may have been an easy target for someone having a bad day, and their comments may have been offered with no ill intentions.



When you recognize that what anyone says or does doesn’t necessarily have anything to do with you, you will no longer feel hurt or attacked. While it’s easy to take things personally, you should never let anyone’s perceptions or actions affect how you see yourself or your worth. Your life is personal to you, and it is up to you to influence your own value and sense of well-being.

May this encourage you always.

May this encourage you always.
by Encourage Criticism : Critical Thinking Skills on Thursday, July 21, 2011 at 7:17pm


Don't spend major time with minor people. If there are people in your life that continually disappoint you, break promises, stomp on your dreams, too judgmental, have different values and don't give their backing during difficult times...that is not a friend.



To have a friend, be a friend. Sometimes in life as you grow, your friends will either grow or go. Surround yourself with people who reflect value.



Don't spend major time with minor people. If there are people in your life that continually disappoint you, break promises, stomp on your dreams, too judgmental, have different values and don't give their backing during difficult times...that is not a friend.





Surround yourself with people who reflect values, goals interests and lifestyle.



When I think of any of my successes, I am thankful to GOD from whom all blessings flow, and to my family and friends that enrich my life.



Over the years my phone book has changed because I changed for the better. At first you think you're going to be alone, but after a while new people show up in your life that make your life so much sweeter and easier to endure.



Remember what your elders used to say, "Birds of a feather flock together. If you're an eagle, don't hang around chickens:



Chickens Can't Fly!



I love the Lord and thank Him for all that he does in my life, therefore, I'm passing this on. Yes I do love Jesus. He is my source of existence and Savior. He keeps me functioning each and everyday...... Without Him, I would be nothing.



Without Him, I am nothing but with Him I can do all things. Phil 4:13

Be Positive - Be Progressive - Take the time to make a positive difference in someone's life.



Walk by faith



Not by sight



Receive God's blessings!

Sunday, July 17, 2011

10 Practical Ways to Handle Stress

Stress is inevitable. It walks in and out of our lives on a regular basis. And it can easily walk all over us unless we take action. Fortunately, there are many things you can do to minimize and cope with stress. Here are 10 ideas for handling stress without causing more strain and hassle.

1. Figure out where the stress is coming from.

Oftentimes, when we’re stressed, it seems like a big mess with stressors appearing from every angle. We start to feel like we’re playing a game of dodge ball, ducking and darting so we don’t get smacked by a barrage of balls. We take a defensive position, and not a good one at that.

Instead of feeling like you’re flailing day to day, identify what you’re actually stressed about. Is it a specific project at work, an upcoming exam, a dispute with your boss, a heap of laundry, a fight with your family?

By getting specific and pinpointing the stressors in your life, you’re one step closer to getting organized and taking action.


2. Consider what you can control—and work on that.

While you can’t control what your boss does, what your in-laws say or the sour state of the economy, you can control how you react, how you accomplish work, how you spend your time and what you spend your money on.

The worst thing for stress is trying to take control over uncontrollable things. Because when you inevitably fail — since it’s beyond your control — you only get more stressed out and feel helpless. So after you’ve thought through what’s stressing you out, identify the stressors that you can control, and determine the best ways to take action.

Take the example of a work project. If the scope is stressing you out, talk it over with your supervisor or break the project down into step-wise tasks and deadlines.

Stress can be paralyzing. Doing what’s within your power moves you forward and is empowering and invigorating.

3. Do what you love.

It’s so much easier to manage pockets of stress when the rest of your life is filled with activities you love. Even if your job is stress central, you can find one hobby or two that enrich your world. What are you passionate about? If you’re not sure, experiment with a variety of activities to find something that’s especially meaningful and fulfilling.

4. Manage your time well.

One of the biggest stressors for many people is lack of time. Their to-do list expands, while time flies. How often have you wished for more hours in the day or heard others lament their lack of time? But you’ve got more time than you think, as Laura Vanderkam writes in her aptly titled book, 168 Hours: You Have More Time Than You Think.

We all have the same 168 hours, and yet there are plenty of people who are dedicated parents and full-time employees and who get at least seven hours of sleep a night and lead fulfilling lives.

Here are Vanderkam’s seven steps to help you check off your to-do list and find time for the things you truly enjoy.

5. Create a toolbox of techniques.

One stress-shrinking strategy won’t work for all your problems. For instance, while deep breathing is helpful when you’re stuck in traffic or hanging at home, it might not rescue you during a business meeting.

Because stress is complex, “What we need is a toolbox that’s full of techniques that we can fit and choose for the stressor in the present moment,” said Richard Blonna, Ed.D, a nationally certified coach and counselor and author of Stress Less, Live More: How Acceptance & Commitment Therapy Can Help You Live a Busy Yet Balanced Life.

Here’s a list of additional techniques to help you build your toolbox.

6. Pick off the negotiables from your plate.

Review your daily and weekly activities to see what you can pick off your plate. As Vanderkam asks in her book: “Do your kids really love their extracurricular activities, or are they doing them to please you? Are you volunteering for too many causes, and so stealing time from the ones where you could make the most impact? Does your whole department really need to meet once per week or have that daily conference call?”

Blonna suggested asking these questions: “Do [my activities] mesh with my goals and values? Am I doing things that give my life meaning? Am I doing the right amount of things?”

Reducing your stack of negotiable tasks can greatly reduce your stress.

7. Are you leaving yourself extra vulnerable to stress?

Whether you perceive something as a stressor depends in part on your current state of mind and body. That is, as Blonna said, ““Each transaction we’re involved in takes place in a very specific context that’s affected by our health, sleep, psychoactive substances, whether we’ve had breakfast [that day] and [whether we’re] physically fit.”

So if you’re not getting sufficient sleep or physical activity during the week, you may be leaving yourself extra susceptible to stress. When you’re sleep-deprived, sedentary and filled to the brim with coffee, even the smallest stressors can have a huge impact.

8. Preserve good boundaries.

If you’re a people-pleaser like me, saying no feels like you’re abandoning someone, have become a terrible person or are throwing all civility out the window. But of course that couldn’t be further from the truth. Plus, those few seconds of discomfort are well worth avoiding the stress of taking on an extra activity or doing something that doesn’t contribute value to your life.

One thing I’ve noticed about productive, happy people is that they’re very protective of their time and having their boundaries crossed. But not to worry: Building boundaries is a skill you can learn. Here are some tips to help. And if you tend toward people-pleasing, these tips can help, too.

9. Realize there’s a difference between worrying and caring.

Sometimes, our mindset can boost stress, so a small issue mushrooms into a pile of problems. We continue worrying, somehow thinking that this is a productive — or at least inevitable — response to stress. But we mistake worry for action.

Clinical psychologist Chad LeJeune, Ph.D, talks about the idea of worrying versus caring in his book, The Worry Trap: How to Free Yourself from Worry & Anxiety Using Acceptance & Commitment Therapy. “Worrying is an attempt to exert control over the future by thinking about it,” whereas caring is taking action. “When we are caring for someone or something, we do the things that support or advance the best interests of the person or thing that we care about.”

LeJeune uses the simple example of houseplants. He writes: “If you are away from home for a week, you can worry about your houseplants every single day and still return home to find them brown and wilted. Worrying is not watering.”

Similarly, fretting about your finances does nothing but get you worked up (and likely prevent you from taking action). Caring about your finances, however, means creating a budget, paying bills on time, using coupons and reducing how often you dine out.

Just this small shift in mindset from worrying to caring can help you adjust your reaction to stress. To see this distinction between worrying and caring, LeJeune includes an activity where readers list responses for each one. For example:

Worrying about your health involves…

Caring about your health involves…

Worrying about your career involves…

Caring about your career involves…

10. Embrace mistakes—or at least don’t drown in perfectionism.

Another mindset that can exacerbate stress is perfectionism. Trying to be mistake-free and essentially spending your days walking on eggshells is exhausting and anxiety-provoking. Talk about putting pressure on yourself! And as we all know but tend to forget: Perfectionism is impossible and not human, anyway.

As researcher Brene Brown writes in her book The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are, “Perfectionism is not the same thing as striving to be your best. Perfectionism is not about healthy achievement and growth” and it’s not self-improvement.

Nothing good can come from perfectionism. Brown writes: “Research shows that perfectionism hampers success. In fact, it’s often the path to depression, anxiety, addiction and life-paralysis [‘all the opportunities we miss because we’re too afraid to put anything out in the world that could be imperfect’].”

Plus, mistake-mistaking can lead to growth. To overcome perfectionism, Brown suggests becoming more compassionate toward yourself. I couldn’t agree more.